


Neurotically Yours

by orphan_account



Category: Durarara!!
Genre: Hurt/Comfort, Izaya, M/M, Neurotically Yours, Romance, shizuo
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-07-06
Updated: 2012-08-12
Packaged: 2017-11-09 08:00:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 13,630
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/453179
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There is something horribly wrong with Shizuo, but no one can seem to figure out what. The mystery is aggravating Izaya, who tries to figure it out. Once he does, he makes it his mission to fix the broken ex-bartender.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Reposted from FanFiction.net. Apparently, it loves to hate on me now. Don't worry, FF, the feeling's mutual... And because of these "issues", I'm relocating to Ao3. Granted, I'll still be lingering around FF, just not posting much--if at all. 
> 
> So yeah. 
> 
> I'm slowly slipping back into writer's block. Praying that the curse won't be upon me. But eh... Funny how I thought that summer would be the time where I actually got to post more stuff and would be less busy, yet it's the exact opposite. Hopefully, I'll get to be able to post more. I'm trying to, but note the keyword "trying".

The headless Dullahan could only stare in horror at what was left of her best friend. Reluctantly, she began to hug herself as a shiver ran through her spine, as if an attempt to warm herself up when she felt the heat and color drain from her body. If it weren’t for her jet black shadows covering every part of her skin, someone would have noticed just how much paler she looked. It seemed to rival the pure white sheets covering the unconscious blond on the hospital bed right in front of her. He looked so still, so emotionless, that if it weren’t for the constant rising and falling of his chest, he could have easily passed off as one of the dead. _But that doesn’t mean that he isn’t close to—No! Get a hold of yourself, Celty. Don’t think like that. You have to have faith in him…_

But when the sensors in her smoke gave her the ability to ‘see’ Shizuo’s face more closely, she nearly snapped. By now, her shoulders were slumped over, shaking even, but not as much as her clenched fists. If she had a head, she would have been crying a river. She couldn’t bear to look at him in this state. In this weakened form of what was supposedly the body of the strongest man in Ikebukuro. But if he was so strong, then why? Why did he always have to get himself hurt? Why did he always have to go and make Shinra and her panic and worry out of their minds? _Why_? She almost demanded the unmoving body on the mattress, sporting multiple bandages around his skull, ribcage, legs, arm, and a cast for his neck and other arm.

_Celty revved up the engines to her trusty stead, a soft whinny of excitement coming from the horse disguised as a motorcycle. She had been called for to run an errand and just completed it. But despite that, she was feeling especially anxious tonight. But for whatever reason, she did not know. Maybe it was because her informant was_ Izaya _of all people. Just thinking about that man sent shivers through her porcelain body. As if sensing its master’s fear and restlessness, the masked horse gave a reassuring neigh. Feeling grateful for her companion, her stiffed form relaxed, but only for a fraction. She could never let her guard down in front of Izaya. Or her life would be over as she knew it._

_Much to her displeasure, her distance between her and the informant drew closer and closer. As her thoughts came to a halt, so did she, keeping a respectable distance away from the raven haired man. How she wanted to rid him of that arrogant smirk from his face._

_“Ah, I see that you’ve received my call. Thanks for picking up my delivery. I knew that I could count on you.” Izaya Orihara knew just how much the female Dullahan disliked him –hate is such a strong word, it’s only reserved for deep amounts of it just like he and Shizu-chan had for each other– and liked to take advantage of that fact. It was even more entertaining when she couldn’t do anything about it. Knowing this fact made his smirk grew bigger than it already was._

_Celty’s entire form tensed; that smirk of his was_ never _good. Just what was he up to? Reaching to the side of her motorcycle where a small box was tied to the seat so that it won’t fall off the vehicle, her shadows quickly morphed into a sharp blade, cutting the ropes. She then took the package into her hand and threw it at Izaya, who caught it with ease._

_Pulling out her PDA, she began typing with that lightning speed of hers, accumulated after years of practice. [Just what are you planning?]_

_Izaya stared at the screen with wide eyes, feigning a look of surprise. “Me? Plan something? Why, I don’t have a clue as to what you’re talking about, Celty-kun~ After all,” his eyes narrowed, shining bright red, “I’m known for my innocent kindness, after all.”_

_The fairy shifted uncomfortably in her position. The answer she had received actually made her even more suspicious if anything. [Your false act cannot fool me.] But even with that said, she couldn’t press the matter further. Her feeling of dread was steadily increasing as the night dragged on, and interacting with Izaya didn’t help it one bit._

_“False act? My, Celty-kun, you really do need to be clearer because I seem to have absolutely no idea what you’re talking about today.” He grinned, a glint of mischief in his eyes. Though, he couldn’t deny the fact that he was curious as to why the courier seemed to be on the edge. “Ehh? This is definitely intriguing. Is the Headless Rider afraid of something?” he asked with a taunting tone._

_This was just bait, and Celty knew it. She was not going to take it and fall into his trap. Deciding that the best thing to do would be to ride away before she lost control over her temper, that was exactly what she did. Still, even as she got away from him, she couldn’t shake the feeling of dread. It had gotten to the point where it felt like it was creeping up on her legs all the way up to the nape of her neck. She shuddered, what a disgusting feeling._

_It wasn’t as disgusting as the nauseous feeling that overwhelmed her and her senses when she saw the sight of blood everywhere: paved on the streets, dying the clothes, hair, and skin of every still body present, painting the walls and gates, it was simply everywhere. The most disturbing fact was the source of most of the blood. Shizuo. The same Shizuo who was Celty’s best friend. The same Shizuo who was Shinra’s pal and Izaya’s rival / enemy. The same Shizuo who was lying on the ground, with the red substance drying on his blond hair, clothes; whose arm bent in an angle that the fairy didn’t even know was possible. The same Shizuo who laid here, broken,_ dying.

A warm, tender hand rested on Celty’s shoulder, comforting her and calming her shudders. Though, once in a while, she slightly jumped, as if hiccupping from crying too much. She felt herself being wrapped in a bundle of warmth, something she desperately needed right now. She didn’t even have to look to know who it was. The familiar embrace was enough to tell.

“It’s okay, Celty. It’s always been okay. He’s always been okay.” Shinra’s voice was smooth, yet soft. His gaze bore into his friend, who failed to even so much as pass him a glance. Hell, the underground doctor wasn’t even sure if the blond could come back to his senses in seven days.

However, the Dullahan wasn’t sure if she could agree, her shoulders trembling once more. In a flash, her PDA was out and she was typing furiously. [bUt hhes never ben like this before! It was nevr this badd!1]

Her message was full of errors due to her fingers shaking from fear for her friend. She didn’t know what to do. She didn’t know what _could_ she do. It was impossible to stand here and just watch him lay there do _nothing_. It looked too much as if he was dead, a reality she didn’t want.

“He’s had worse…” The doctor’s eyes were dark with pain as memories ran through his mind. A sad smile formed on his lips, reminiscing all those times where he had to patch up the monster. “And before you know it, he’ll be awake and well, going after Izaya to kick his ass.” His smile grew wider, trying his best to keep up with his blunt, optimistic self.

His ‘fiancé’ wanted to jab him for his silly bluntness, especially in a situation like this. But she restrained herself once she realized that this was his way of coping. This was his way of dealing with things like this: to lighten up the mood instead of drowning in the sea of darkness. Somehow, she even managed to lighten up just a bit for him, an effect he always seemed to have on her. She nodded, agreeing to it, more to reassure herself that Shizuo will pull through than anything, really.

Shinra brought Celty closer, hugging her tighter as he rested his chin on her shoulder. “There; you feel better?” His smile would have looked innocent to anyone else who didn’t know him. “Because if you don’t, I can always make you feel better in bed—oof!”

Now _that_ time, the spectacled man did get a jab to the ribs. He chuckled apologetically, but didn’t miss the puff of smoke swirling more intensely than before, often a sign that Celty was flustered and blushing in the only way that she can. Trying her best to hide the increasing smoke, she turned to the injured monster of Ikebukuro. She slipped out of Shinra’s grasp, walking over to him and caressed Shizuo’s cheek softly.

_Shizuo…please…stop doing this to me. Stop doing this to_ yourself.

Two days have passed since Celty found Shizuo dying in the streets, and she was feeling restless. She spent much of her time tending to him in bed or constantly pacing around the living room wondering what to do. And today was no different. Shinra leaned his chin in his hand, resting on a chair in front of the table. He had an amused expression as he watched his beloved Celty cross back and forth with no sign of stopping. Celty always did lose her cool demeanor when it came to those who were close to her.

“You’re worrying over nothing, Celty. Why don’t you settle down? And we could watch a movie or something! Ooh, and then we could cuddle and—”

The pink hearts floating around Shinra as he was fantasizing had popped, just like his dream. He stopped squirming in his seat when he realized that Celty had stopped pacing, turning to ‘look’ at him, but made no move to jab him or anything. _I guess you really do care about Shizuo,_ Shinra smiled at the thought as a small sigh passed his lips.  

“You know, Celty, I’m sure he’s _fine_. Besides, if he’s gone, who will uproot Ikebukuro with Izaya?” He then tapped his index finger on his lips, wondering about the raven. “Speaking of which, does he know about Shizuo getting hurt?” The bespectacled doctor started reaching for the mobile phone in his pocket. “Maybe I should call him— What? What’s wrong, Celty?”

His hand froze in midair, the female fairy grabbed his wrist to stop him before he could reach his phone. If she could, she would shake her head. Instead, the smoke emitting from her neck had spiraled like small black flames. She held her personal device in front of doctor’s face for him to read the message.

[No! Don’t call him.] Shinra only stared at the letters on the electronic device, blinking in confusion, the perfect image of bewilderment. Celty added more to clear it up for the clueless man. [He probably did this to Shizuo, he had a hand in this. I just know it!]

A laugh echoed in the empty room save for the two occupants. Shinra shook his head as his laughter died off, but still twinkling in his eyes. “Silly Celty, Izaya doesn’t know, much less have a hand in it.”

Confusion struck the black-clad woman. [H-huh? How can you be so sure?]

“Because, dear Celty, if Izaya managed to hurt Shizuo that bad, he would gloat to the whole city. Or probably the world, with his ego.” He shrugged, looking as if he was actually giving the idea much thought. “One thing’s for certain, he wouldn’t keep his mouth shut about it.”

Celty’s confusion melted in understanding, but only for a minute before the image of Izaya’s eyes glittering with danger and malice sent her shudders. [But I saw him! He was up to something. And after I rode away, I found Shizuo bleeding all over the place. It can’t be just a small coincidence.]

The brunet scratched the back of his head in wonder. “Yes, that _does_ seem peculiar…” He leaned the side of his face onto his cheek, his other hand holding his whole arm up by the elbow. “But I still don’t think that Izaya’s guilty of whatever happened to Shizuo.”

Celty would’ve sighed, deciding to put the conversation at an end. But her suspicion of Izaya still stayed firm. She’ll believe it wasn’t his doing when she has the evidence. [Whatever. I still think he has something to do with it. Just don’t tell him, okay? He’ll probably want to hurt Shizuo some more when he’s in that state.]

Shinra chuckled softly at her desire to protect her close friend. “Okay, okay, I won’t call Izaya—” He didn’t get to finish when she came up to him, and gave him a hug. Surprised, his eyes grew wide from the display of affection and thanks. But he soon eased into her arms and wrapped his arms around her torso.

A crash was heard, catching both of their attention. They broke apart from each other, alert and trying to find the origin of the sound. Another crash. They both looked at each other with the same realization.

“Shizuo!”

The couple had sped off in the direction of the said blond. When they reached the door, Shinra threw it open with great strength in panic. “Shizuo? Shizuo!” 


	2. Chapter 2

**Recap:**

_A crash was heard, catching both of their attention. They broke apart from each other, alert and trying to find the origin of the sound. Another crash. They both looked at each other with the same realization._

_"Shizuo!_

The couple had sped off in the direction of the said blond. When they reached the door, Shinra threw it open with great strength in panic. "Shizuo? Shizuo!"

 

* * *

Darkness surrounded him. The cold pricked at his bare skin while he groggily tried to regain his senses. He stirred in his sleep, turning his head this way and that, as if trying to shake whatever thought was clawing at his mind. His face was nearly as white as his knuckles gripping the blank sheets covering his body. Small, quiet groans grew louder and more painful, accompanied by a small chorus of “No, stop it. Shut up.” It was a never ending cycle. Though, whatever thought was occupying Shizuo’s mind had apparently hit a very sensitive nerve, because he jolted upright into a sitting position, his hand accidentally smashing against the tray full of scalpels, scissors, and other surgical  tools, sending the small desk holding it up down to the ground, reduced to cracked pieces of the structure it had been before. The small, sharp objects performed a small tinkling of symphonies as they clattered to the ground. Beads of sweat rolled down the blond’s forehead and cheeks, dripping on the soft fabric giving him warmth, but he made no move to dry either. All he seemed to be concentrated on was to even out his breath as he was panting for more air. Even after his lungs received the much needed oxygen, his body was still trembling, however, his fists more so than anything else, gripping the sheets with such strength that it was soon slowly being dyed red.

Whatever seemed to be aggravating him still lingered, because his refrain of denial picked up once more. It seemed to continue even as he gripped the sides of his head with his hands harshly, staining his bleached blond locks blood red, along with the bandages tucked neatly underneath them. Just then, it was as if the crash had just registered in his brain, and he shifted slightly so that he could see what caused it. The misplaced tools scattered on the floor with broken pieces of what used to be a desk was more than enough evidence to convince him that he did that, and that he was a monster. A monster who couldn’t control his actions or anger. In a fit of rage, he ripped out the IV drip inserted into his vein and grabbed the pole of what held the bags of unknown substance and his scarlet blood with the arm that was sporting an IV just a millisecond ago, throwing it against the wall. The equipment had supposedly been upgraded by Shinra, made for being more durable for the more ‘rowdy’ patients, but it snapped as easily as a skinny twig once it hit the wall. Instead of making him feel better after releasing the pent up anger and stress, it only made it worse, and he hid his face in shame, clenching his teeth so hard he felt as if he would dislocate his jaw.

Muffled sounds came from the walls behind, sending a slight shiver of surprise up his spine. But he didn’t care. It was probably nothing important. Probably no one important. Who would care to come and see a beast like him? He didn’t deserve anybody, anyone. Hell, he didn’t even know why he was here and who would go out of their way to save him. They should have just let him d—

“Shizuo? Shizuo!”

Shinra’s yelling finally got through to the blond, snapping him out of his thoughts. But it wasn’t like he was responding to the doctor. Instead, it looked as if he was doing his best to ignore him, avoiding all eye contact and flinching when the brunet reached out to comfort him. Shinra hesitantly retracted his hand, biting his lower lip in nervousness. Celty came in just a few seconds before Shinra, mustering enough courage to. When she saw the look of raw hurt in the bespectacled doctor, she placed a quivering hand on his shoulder, silently trying to tell him that it was okay. It seemed to have worked when he appeared to compose himself.

“Shizuo… You’re bleeding…” And indeed he was. Shizuo tilted his head down so that he could see his arm producing massive pools of blood from the spot where he tore the IV away from his flesh, while also throwing the rest of it to the wall with that same arm. Even though he stared at the concerning amount of red that painted his whole arm, he didn’t give much of a reaction other than that.

The Dullahan was now typing at her personal device faster than ever. [Shizuo! What’s wrong? You have to get your arm treated.]

Again, she received no apparent response. Shinra was already walking over to the blond right after he grabbed a fresh roll of bandages and alcohol wipes, gently taking Shizuo’s arm into his hand before it was out of his grasp in the blink of an eye.

“Leave it. Let it bleed,” was his soft murmuring reply. Shinra blinked at the odd behavior of his childhood friend.

“Bu-but you’ll most likely die of blood loss, Shizuo. Not even you are invincible.”

“That’s the idea.”

A clatter could be heard through the quiet silence that seemed to settle uncomfortably in the room. Celty’s hands were held out in the air, seemingly frozen, if it were not for the visible shaking. She made no move to retrieve the PDA on the floor, out of her reach. Shinra only sighed heavily, pleading with Shizuo with his eyes.

“Please Shizuo, let’s not have this discussion. Let me fix you up right awa—”

“You can’t fix something that is broken beyond repair.” The cold, emotionless tone was starting to scare the doctor, as it already struck fear in the Dullahan. She was secretly afraid when this day might come. She just prayed with all her heart that it wouldn’t. However, it seemed that all her prayers were as empty as Shizuo was feeling.

“Shizuo, you’re being unreasonable. You’re not broken. I mean, sure, you got a few broken bones but that’s nothing time won’t fix.” The underground doctor offered a small laugh as he reached out for Shizuo’s arm again. It was gone before he could even make the slightest of contact, hidden at the side of the bed opposite of Shinra.

“Why are you even trying to help? It’s useless.”

A frown and displeasure was evident on his face as Shinra kept his cool composure. “It’s not like you to be like this, Shizuo. C’mon, just let me help.”

His eyes were even more pleading and desperate than his voice. So much to the point where Shizuo couldn’t bear to let him stay like this, especially when he was the cause. He reluctantly gave in.  This time, when Shinra reached for his arm, he didn’t pull away. The cool, wet feel of the alcohol wipes were making Shizuo uncomfortable, and it showed in his expression. As Shinra kept his eyes on his work, he asked the question he had been longing to know the answer to after he saw the bloody debt collector at his doorstep.

“What happened?”

Shizuo’s passive eyes evolved into something even more passive, if that was possible. Without hesitation, he simply answered, “I ran into Izaya. He sent a gang of thugs after me and we got into a massive fight where I slipped up and got hurt.”

Shinra gritted his teeth, his brunet bangs covering his eyes as anger was rising in the man. His nails dug into Shizuo’s flesh, and it took all he can to not tackle the man against the bed, not that it would probably work anyway. A man of Shizuo’s strength could easily snap his neck in half with a small flick.

“Don’t you dare lie to me,” he muttered between clenched teeth. He knew in his gut that the blond was lying. It wouldn’t explain why Shizuo was being brainwashed with depression, or why Izaya wouldn’t have at least called him to inform him that Shizuo was hurt badly, which is what the brunet knew deep down that’s what either would do if they saw the other in a condition like this just laying out in the streets, no matter how much they’d deny it.

A flicker of pain wasn’t enough to make Shizuo so much as even flinch, seeing as how he dealt with getting hit with a car more than twice, getting stabbed with knives, pens, you name it. But Celty knew that inside, Shizuo was crying out of pain. But of _what?_

She reached over to the doctor, trying to pull his hand away from the ex-bartender to show that he was harming his patient even more. When Shinra saw the five small crescent shaped marks dug deep into his arm, he immediately apologized and began cleaning the blood off of his arm again, this time with extreme gentleness.

[Shizuo, you know that you can talk to me. Tell me what’s wrong.]

“There’s nothing wrong, Celty.” _Except for me living on this planet,_ he added mentally.

The black-clad woman held the PDA close to her, and couldn’t help but dread the feeling that Shizuo was hiding something important from her. She secretly knew what it might have been, but didn’t want to believe it. Deciding to leave her friend alone for now, she restrained herself from bombarding him with questions, reminding herself that it was not going to help him or the situation, only worsen it.

“We should really call Izaya for help…” murmured the doctor softly so the two occupants couldn’t hear him. Though because of the tense silence in the room, they did. And they were not happy.

Celty was about to reprimand her lover of their promise he had made to her just minutes before, but didn’t get the chance because in less than a second, he was shoved to the wall. Shizuo held him up a feet above ground, partly because of his height and partly because his hands were at the doctor’s throat, pressing against it. There was a dangerous, even murderous, look in the usually calm mocha eyes of the ex-bartender as he narrowed his eyes at Shinra, growling.

“Don’t you _dare_. I don’t want that flea within a ten kilometer radius near me.”

Shinra couldn’t even reply in anything but strangled, incoherent words thanks to the pressure being applied to his neck, which felt like it could snap at any given second. He struggled to get free from Shizuo’s iron grip, kicking about but not so that he could land any hits, trying to pry his hands from his neck, but not so that he could hurt him. His friend was in desperate need of help and in pain, and he wasn’t going to make that worse. Unfortunately, the feeling didn’t seem mutual. Snapping out of her slight shock, the Dullahan ran towards Shizuo, trying to loosen his grasp so that he would let the smaller man go, resorting to even using her shadows to pull him away from the other. But to no avail, Shizuo was just too strong for her; going up against Shizuo in strength was almost committing suicide. But after seeing Shinra struggling even more as Shizuo’s fingers tightened, she began to lose her temper, kicking the blond in the chest and using her shadows to pin him down on the ground. For a moment, he was hard to contain, thrashing about, but soon, a clear coat of guilt covered his eyes and he began to lay still on the cold floor.

Shinra was having a coughing fit, rubbing his hands over his red marked neck with hand imprints. Celty rushed over to his side once she made sure that Shizuo wasn’t going to try anything like that, trying to stop the violent coughs. After a few seconds, Shinra was back to normal, and the awkward silence enveloped the room once again. The doctor threw a look of concern towards the monster of Ikebukuro and couldn’t help but crawl over to him, stopping just a few inches from his side.

“Shizuo—”

“I’m sorry, Shinra. I’m…I’m so sorry…”

“It’s oka—”

“I’m so sorry…”

Shinra opened his mouth, about to stay that it was okay and that he didn’t have to worry about it, but closed it shut once he saw that the blond closed his eyes shut, clenching his teeth as his knuckles turned white from his harsh grip. He realized that he was no longer listening to him, and slightly wondered if he was even talking to him specifically. Deciding to not disturb him, he got up to fetch the alcohol wipes and bandages, and continued to finish his incompletely job.

 


	3. Chapter 3

**Recap:**

_"Shizuo—"_

_"I'm sorry, Shinra. I'm…I'm so sorry…"_

_"It's oka—"_

_"I'm so sorry…"_

_Shinra opened his mouth, about to say that it was okay and that he didn't have to worry about it, but closed it shut once he saw that the blond closed his eyes shut, clenching his teeth as his knuckles turned white from his harsh grip. He realized that he was no longer listening to him, and slightly wondered if he was even apologizing to him specifically. Deciding to not disturb him, he got up to fetch the alcohol wipes and bandages, and continued to finish his incomplete job._

* * *

Shuffles of papers and rapid typing could be heard in the office of the infamous Orihara Izaya. Namie, said informant's secretary, was busy filing the mountain of papers stacked on her desk. _Honestly, why do I have to do this for him?_ She narrowed her eyes and shot daggers at the raven haired man sitting at his desk, typing away. _No doubt he's stalking people again._ Her frown deepened slightly at the previous debate they had of whether what he did was "stalking" or merely "loving his precious humans so much he has earned the right to check up and see how they were living life".

Feeling an intense glare being directed at him and only one other person in the room, Izaya turned around in his favorite swivel chair to face his beloved secretary, a smirk that was all too familiar settling on his face. "You shouldn't glare so much, Namie. You'll get permanent deep wrinkles if you keep that up."

This only deepened the glare. "Shut up, I'm sure someone as old as yourself would know a lot about wrinkles," she shot back, slightly taunting him about the fact that he always claimed to be "twenty one forever". This earned her a slightly painful smack to the head, the culprit now rolling on its side on the floor. The beautiful brunette woman took a second to glare at the knight chess piece that hit her, then back at the one who actually threw it and aimed squarely at the back of her head. Said person had an 'innocent' smirk, which he was anything _but_ , a look Namie knew all too well. She bent down, picking the game piece with her delicate fingers, and returned the favor to Izaya, who just continued to smirk as he help his palm up, the knight landing perfectly in his hand with ease, much to the woman's distaste.

"Tch, go die," she venomously spat as she began to shift her attention back to her work.

Izaya only responded with a laugh at Namie's easy defeat. "Aww, does Namie-san not want to play today?" he asked childishly. This didn't even dignify a response from the secretary, who continued to ignore him and his bait. Sighing, Izaya was beginning to feel boredom gnaw at his nerves. There was nothing he could do in his office since Namie was currently taking care of everything right now, so maybe he should get some fresh air. After all, he had been cooped up in the office for weeks, which wan an ungodly amount of time to be away from his humans, in Izaya's opinion.

Settling the knight down in a new location on the board, he then got up from his chair, skipping towards the door. Just before he left, he called back to Namie, who was looking up from one of her files to see what the man was doing now.

"I'm going to pay Shizu-chan a little visit. Bye, Namie-san~ Don't miss me too much~"

And before the flying pen could made contact with his face that still wore that stupid arrogant smirk, the door was closed and sent the pen falling down to the ground.

. | Ω | .

The end of the fur-trimmed coat followed every movement its owner made as he skipped down the streets, smiling as if everything was right with the world, despite all the suspicious whispering and glares being thrown at him. Soon, his skipping slowly melted into a normal paced walk as he took his time to look around the crowds, inspecting each and every person who walked past him. It was rather exciting when he got to examine his precious toys up close and in person, but somehow, something was off. Today was just not the day. Nothing seemed to be happening, and there even seemed to be a gloomy tension in the air. His lips pulled into a frown, not liking the depressing air or the fact that he couldn't shake off a feeling that something was horribly wrong. And he especially couldn't get rid of the repulsive taste of not knowing something in his mouth, something he loathed to death.

Once his devious red eyes landed on a certain blond, however, he shoved those feelings to the deepest corner of his mind. When there was a Shizuo to infuriate, who needed depression? His frown soon morphed into that signature smirk of his as he skipped towards the blond, hoping to get his attention. _It does seem odd that he still hasn't noticed my presence like he usually does… My, is Shizu-chan slowly losing his touch?_ His smirk only grew at that, but slightly faltered when he noticed that the blond still hasn't turned around or even notice him. Instead of waiting, he impatiently tapped Shizuo on the shoulders, waiting for the him to turn around and see that it was Izaya who just walked up to him and touched him, waiting for that long shout of anger entwined into his name.

It never came.

Shizuo turned and just stood there, just _stood there_. The nerve! And after the informant came down to see especially him, too! He should at the very least _react_ somehow. But for some unknown reason, when he turned around and mocha eyes met crimson, Shizuo just continued to stand there and _stare_! Though his smirk did not falter; he couldn't have let the brute know that he was horribly confused and even a little disappointed at the lack of response.

"Hello, Shi~zu~chan~" he practically sang the detestable nickname. Still nothing. Not even so much as a twitch. "Ehh~? With all the staring I'm getting from Shizu-chan, I think he might like what he sees." He smiled as he wiggled his hips suggestively.

At least _that_ got a reaction out of the ex-bartender, even though it wasn't exactly the one he aimed for.

"Izaya, stop fooling around," he huffed. Now the informant was beyond perplexed, and it showed when he raised his eyebrow at him, the corners of his lips tugging in a light frown.

"Ehh? What's wrong with Shizu-chan? Is he broken?" He pranced around said person, as if examining him just to see which part of him was broken.

The hands beside Shizuo's side was now clenching into fists, seemingly holding back a punch to the raven haired man that would surely send him flying half across the planet. His fantasy didn't calm him like it usually would, though.

"Of course I'm broken…" Shizuo mumbled in a voice so low that Izaya had to lean in closer to strain to hear him. "What kind of question is that? I thought you were the one who knew everything."

Now this struck a chord to Izaya's pride as the best informant in Ikebukuro, and possibly the whole world. In a flash, his flick blade was out, resting dangerously on Shizuo's throat, easily achieved with Izaya's speed, and much to his annoyance, Shizu-chan's lack of will to fight, or even _do_ something.

"Shizu-chan, of course I know everything that concerns my beloved humans~ But what's beyond even my knowledge are monsters." He sighed dramatically as he pressed his free hand's palm against his forehead, the blade pressing deeper against Shizuo's skin. "After all, they're so unpredictable. An abomination, really." He added more pressure with every word that flowed carelessly from his lips. "Just. Like. You. Shizzy-chan."

Izaya was admiring the clean cut mark he left on the blond's neck, blood dripping beautifully down his neck, like an invisible ghost painting with blood and Shizuo's neck was the canvas. Of course, that was the only thing in his line of vision, seeing as how Shizuo was pressing his hands on _his_ neck against the concrete wall of the building nearest to them, no doubt creating bruises on his pale skin. Izaya narrowed his eyes at him, his hand clenching his blade struggling to reach the monster's heart. The effort was futile as he lost all energy to do so and his arm dropped limply by his side.

"Iiiizaaayaaaa…"

Both men's eyes narrowed at the other as the blond dragged out the smaller man's name, the latter's lips stretching in that trademark smirk of his. No matter how bad the situation got, he was always smirking, somehow. After all, why let your guard down and let your enemy see through your façade? It was an instant kill if your enemy knew you were weak and vulnerable, something Izaya couldn't afford to have with his head constantly wanted from all the business he stuck his nose into.

"Me~" he chirped in reply, glad that at least something brought out the monster filled anger in Shizuo once again. After all, he'd been missing that side of him, he grudgingly admitted to himself. The apathetic side of him made him look more…human. How ironic was that.

"Iiiizaaayaaaa…" he repeated, growl embedded into his name. Shizuo now lifted him higher so that they could meet eye to eye, practically glaring holes in the twisted informer. "I'll _kill_ you…" he ground out through clenched teeth.

Izaya smirked, and opened his mouth to retort back with a witty comment. But nothing came out. He was only seeing it now, the pure hatred and fire in Shizuo's eyes. Usually it would always be there when Shizuo laid his eyes on Izaya, but there was always something else in those eyes, something he could never identify. But this, this was pure, raw hatred, cold to the touch. And the burning anger in them were intensified, and if possible, even more than the hate. It was only then did Izaya realized that Shizuo was completely serious about the threat. And he had a feeling that he would do everything in his power and being to wipe him out of his existence.

"S-Shizu…chan…" he croaked out the loathing nickname, wincing at how broken his voice sounded, and also how broken his neck would be soon, thanks to the fingers wrapped around his neck gripping it with such strength that Izaya was starting to see black out of the corners of his eyes.

Desperate for ways of escape, he started clawing at the hands that held him in place. It did no damage though, just as Izaya had predicted. But there was practically nothing else to do in his position, especially when he was quickly losing oxygen.

To his surprise and relief, the pressure immediately lightened, only having enough strength to hold him up in the air, pressed roughly against the wall. Wary of the fingers that still encased his neck, he was feeling extremely unnerved that they could be the death of him, and quickly threw a powerful kick to the chest in front of him. Granted, it wasn't even a match for Shizuo's kicks, but it seemed to have enough power to knock Shizuo down on the ground a couple of meters away from the choking raven. Izaya's fingers were now around his own neck, rubbing the area where there were still handprints around it. He winced in pain as even his own delicate touch seemed to feel like burning fire. He turned his head to glare at Shizuo's form, only to widen his eyes at the sight.

Shizuo was now lying in a puddle of red liquid, no doubt his blood, as it seemed to have come from the area around his ribs since that was where most of the blood was. Izaya couldn't have kicked him _that_ hard, had he?

Crawling over to the still form, he glared at it, realizing that his enemy was unconscious. What a perfect opportunity to end his pathetic life here and now. But he couldn't find himself to do it. Why? Perhaps it was because of the thrill of the cat and mouse game he often played with him. Or because he didn't know what caused Shizuo to be bleeding endlessly like this, and almost everyone knew how much he _despised_ not knowing things, and he wanted to know the cause of it. Either way, he found himself dialing Shinra's number on his cellphone, quickly cursing under his breath as to why he was helping _Shizuo_ of all people. He would've questioned his sanity along with it, if it were not for the fact that he knew he lost it well over decades ago.

After a few rings, he finally got through. "Izaya? What a pleasant surprise~"

"Shizuo. Bleeding. Celty. _Now._ " His message was short and so was his breath. A miniature fire always seemed to spark in Izaya's throat when he talked, so he made sure to make it quick and to the point. After a few frantic questions, Shinra realized that he had little time if Izaya was calling, for Shizuo too nonetheless, and quickly changed his tone and speech.

"Where is he?"

After giving their location and a few glares to keep the pedestrians from gawking at the sight for too long, Izaya ended the call once Shinra informed him that Celty was on her way. He then turned back to the unconscious blond and narrowed his crimson eyes, cursing under his breath that he always caused the broker trouble no matter what he did. He didn't have time to relish in the irony and the situation of a helpless Shizuo lying there in the open though, because as soon as he made the move to kick Shizuo on the arm, the black in his eyesight overcame him, and with that, he was enveloped into cold, black darkness.


	4. Chapter 4

**Recap:**

_"Shizuo. Bleeding. Celty._ Now. _" His message was short and so was his breath. A miniature fire always seemed to spark in Izaya's throat when he talked, so he made sure to make it quick and to the point. After a few frantic questions, Shinra realized that he had little time if Izaya was calling, for Shizuo too nonetheless, and quickly changed his tone and speech._

_"Where is he?"_

_After giving their location and a few glares to keep the pedestrians from gawking at the sight for too long, Izaya ended the call once Shinra informed him that Celty was on her way. He then turned back to the unconscious blond and narrowed his crimson eyes, cursing under his breath that he always caused the broker trouble no matter what he did. He didn't have time to relish in the irony and the situation of a helpless Shizuo lying there in the open though, because as soon as he made the move to kick Shizuo on the arm, the black in his eyesight overcame him, and with that, he was enveloped into cold, black darkness._

* * *

Everything felt cold. It always seemed to nowadays, as if his whole world had been struck with a subzero blizzard that had no intention of ever letting up. But everything _burned,_ too, searing his very flesh. But there was something different about this heat that seemed to cling to his body. He just didn't know what. Forcing his heavy eyelids to open after a few failed attempts, his vision blurred excessively, but he could at least make out two…no, _one_ figure of total blackness, spread over his own body. As his eyesight cleared, the figure strangely resembled the flea. Feeling a wave of anger about to envelop him again, he tried sitting up and roaring furiously as to what he was thinking he was doing.

That is, until something pounded in his head, dreadfully painful. Groaning as he placed a cold palm over his burning forehead, he made a mental note to himself to kill the flea _after_ he got better. _Whenever that might be…_ His attempts to push the body off of him were fruitless, much to his annoyance as he was stuck staring at the flea's unconscious face right in front of him.

It was only then did other noise in the background register in Shizuo's mind. He turned to the sound of distinct mumbling and whispering, and in some cases, yelling. It seemed as if Izaya's "precious humans" couldn't lay off for even a second. They were all crowding around the two injured men on the streets, staring and pointing at them as if they were caged animals in a zoo. Shizuo didn't even try to yell, the pain was too overwhelming, and he just didn't feel like it for some reason. He just didn't feel like doing anything, a feeling he had been experiencing quite frequently for the past few days.

He turned his gaze upwards, staring at the fluffy white clouds that stood out in the blue expanse, a sense of longing settling on his features. Though, his momentary escape from the rest of the world was cut short as a familiar animal caterwaul echoed through the streets of Ikebukuro, the last sound he heard before his firm grasp on consciousness slipped through his fingers like sand through an hourglass.

. | Ω | .

"—wake…ten min…don't worry."

His body felt numb for a moment before pain came crashing down on him. Restraining the groan growing in his throat, he decided to play dead and wait until Shinra left the room, apparently talking to someone. Light fingers tapped onto what sounded like a touchscreen, and Shizuo concluded that Celty must have been asking about his condition and when he was going to wake up, judging from the snippets of conversation he picked up a second after he had regained consciousness.

"They'll wake up sooner or later," he heard Shinra reassure the Dullahan. "Let's go prepare a meal for them when they do, okay?"

The blond didn't even hear tapping this time, just light footsteps and a doorknob being turned, followed by another pair of footsteps, this time a bit heavier than the first. He released the breath he had been holding after a few seconds when he was sure the two wouldn't be able to hear him. Opening his eyes, he couldn't see much due to the lights being turned off, but enough sunlight was being illuminated through the window, and it was sufficient enough to make out things in the room. He was mustering enough energy to sit up, only to collapse onto the bed when he was halfway there. A groan escaped his lips as he fell on his back, frowning in disappointment.

"Is Shizu-chan moaning in my presence~?" teased a silky smooth voice. A voice Shizuo knew all too well. A growl emitted from his throat, sounding all too animalistic. He turned his head to the direction of the voice's owner, narrowing his mocha eyes at the informant.

"Shut up, lou—" He stopped in midsentence, staring at the raven in the hospital bed next to his. "What…"

Bandages wrapped themselves neatly around his neck and some parts of his torso, along with under his black hair. He was sitting up and leaning on the pillow propped against the bed, staring at Shizuo's appalled expression and no doubt enjoying it, what with that smirk on his lips once again.

"Concussion." The man merely spoke nonchalantly, as if indifferent about the matter. "Shizu-chan really is rough, ne? I wonder if he's as rough in bed—"

His smirk grew just a fraction before leaning to the side. Where his head had been just a few milliseconds ago was a silver scalpel, glinting dangerously at Izaya, as if warning him. The informant didn't pay any heed to its dangerous presence, only making a move to rip the surgical tool out from the wall. There was a dent in the wall, but at least Shinra would rather have that instead of one of his precious tools stuck to a wall resting next to Izaya's head.

"Sick bastard," Shizuo snorted, disappointed that there was nothing else heavy enough to throw unless he wanted to be buried under a pile of bills, courtesy of Shinra.

"Now, now, Shizu-chan. I wasn't finished. It's rude to interrupt someone when they are talking. Didn't you ever learn proper etiquette? I'm sorry, your protozoan brain must not be able to comprehend such language."

"Get to the damn point," the blond cut him off before he lost all control and pounded Izaya through the wall.

The other simply shrugged off the interruption yet again, and resumed to replying the ex-bartender's first inquiry, even though it was never voiced. "You almost broke my neck, too…" His hand instinctively went to touch his neck gingerly. Shizuo slightly winced at the thought of the bruises just lying under those bandages. "Shizu-chan also stabbed my back against a shard that was jutting out of the wall he shoved me against." Ah, so that explained the other bandages.

"What about me?" he hesitantly asked.

"A few broken ribs when I kicked you," Izaya answered flawlessly. "We both collapsed from blood loss." He seemed a bit irritated as he stated this fact. The debt collector wondered how he knew of all their injures, but figured that he was acting as if he was sleeping too, and eavesdropped on Shinra's earlier conversation with Celty. _Probably woke up before me…_ Seeing as how Izaya had been sitting up on the bed and watching him fall back down on his, it seemed like a logical explanation.

"Ne." The flat, monotonous voice jerked the blond's head up to meet the other's eyes. Seeing that he got his rival's attention, he continued on. "How was I able to break not just one, but four of your ribs? We both know that I would never be able to break a mons—" he quickly changed his word choice after the glare and growl he received, " _you_ with just a pathetic kick."

Shizuo leaned back in his bed, sinking in the fluffy pillow, trying to get comfortable as he stared blankly at the wall straight ahead of him. That same familiar wall he woke up to just yesterday. That same familiar wall he shoved Shinra against. The same familiar wall he nearly killed Shinra against.

He cursed through clenched teeth as he tightly squeezed his eyes shut, not wanting to think about it, not wanting to think about what would've happened if Celty wasn't there, or if he hadn't realized what he was doing and let go. "Shit. Shit shit shit shit shit."

Izaya had his eyes on Shizuo the whole time, and his curiosity was growing deep within him. He wanted to find out what happened, _now_ preferably. "Calm down, brute. They might hear us and try to contain us here for a whole week or more if you keep that up," he scoffed, particularly disliking this idea of being cooped up in this room, strapped to millions of wires and restrained by bandages. And with Shizuo, no less.

This seemed to snap the blond out of it, even if only for a little bit. He visibly calmed down, fists unclenching the death grip on the sheets that covered his lower body. Izaya raised an eyebrow, but otherwise remained silent, waiting for the story to flood out of the other's mouth.

After a moment of silence, Shizuo only shifted his position so that he was now resting on the bed, almost completely horizontal as his gaze transferred to the ceiling instead. He mentally debated on whether or not to tell Izaya of all people. But seeing as how he was already hurt and his ribs had already been broken again for the raven to see, he figured it couldn't do much damage.

"I already broke my ribs, two days prior," he said simply, not elaborating on the matter. However, the short reply barely entertained Izaya at all.

"And how did you do that, Shizu-chan? Have you gotten into some other fights not including me? How heartless. I feel cheated on." He laid his right hand over his heart in mock hurt. This earned him a glare from a pair of auburn eyes, the owner's lips pressing into a thin but firm line, obviously not wanting to elucidate on the matter.

Usually, what Izaya wanted, Izaya got. And what Izaya currently wanted was information. But Shizuo was much different from normal human beings. He was an anomaly, a freak, a monster. He didn't play by the rules Izaya laid out. And that was why he hated Shizuo. He never played by the rules; he was always unpredictable, a wild card; he was not human, because the raven loved _all_ humans. And since that didn't apply to Shizuo, he was, therefore, not human.

Izaya's thoughts caused him to initiate a glowering and growling contest between the two. As if to say, "Don't fuck with me," Izaya flipped the scalpel he obtained from the wall until the sharp tip was pointing straight at Shizuo. The scowl that escaped the informant's still sore—though slightly better—throat ceased, though the dangerous smirk that replaced it wasn't better in the least. In fact, one who knew and dealt with Izaya would clearly know that it was worse. A trademark habit he had when he had a devious plan being plotted.

"Why don't you be a good little monster and tell Izaya what happened, hm?" He inched the blade closer in Shizuo's direction.

"Fuck off, flea. 's none of your business. Go back to whatever Hell hole you crawled from." The nosy, pain in the ass louse had _no_ fucking right to know about him and what happens to him. If he thinks that he could use Shizuo as a pawn under the palm of his hand like the rest of the brainwashed city, then he's horribly mistaken.

 _Looks like I've touched a nerve._ Izaya narrowed his eyes, his smirk never faltering. "Don't be so difficult, Shizu." He closed his eyes and his smirk melted into a smile. "Let's cooperate," the eyes opened once again, bleeding red, "ne?"

"I said to fuck off, didn't I?" the blond hissed dangerously, his hand clutching the Von Graefe knife from the tray he nearly destroyed during his last visit. The second his eyes caught the movement of Izaya abruptly throwing the knife with precise precision was when his own body mirrored the action.

And it was that moment that the side of a scythe materialized between the two surgical knives. A clash of metal could be heard, followed by a clatter on the ground as they landed. Shizuo immediately grimaced, feeling horribly despicable and loathing towards himself, while on the other hand, Izaya merely scowled and crossed his arms over his chest, unhappy being an understatement towards his mood of their ruined altercation. "Tch." Shizuo was too ashamed to look at any of them in the eye, especially Celty, knowing that she was probably worrying her head off over him, again. And he had just gone and disappointed her like that, again. He just couldn't stop hurting his loved ones, could he? Whether it be physically or emotionally, he was always a monster and always will be, hurting those most close to him.

Celty, however, was irritated, and it showed with the writhing coils of black smoke getting increasingly restless as they formulated from her neck. To show her agitation, she flipped her scythe in her arms until it came to an abrupt stop, successfully smacking the two ingrates in bed on the head with the pole. Whoever thought that shadows were harmless are _dead wrong_. Hissing in pain, the two men rubbed their injured head with their hands, the darker, smaller one more so than the other.

"Ow, Celty." Izaya's eyes narrowed at the Dullahan as he carefully massaged his aching head with both hands. "Don't you know how to treat an injured patient?"

"Be careful, Celty. We wouldn't want these two babies to start crying in pain, now would we?" Shinra entered the door behind Celty and stopped at her side, hands behind his back with that smile laced with childishness, complimenting his blunt and sometimes harsh nature.

It was only then did Celty turn to face Shinra, nodding her headless nod at the doctor. The scythe she had in hand soon melted away into mere nothingness.

"Now," the brunet's stare tensed, gaze boring into the two still in bed, "mind enlightening me as to why you two idiots are trying to kill each other? Despite the fact that your wounds still haven't healed properly?" He advanced towards Shizuo, who kept his head down, blond bangs covering his shameful eyes. With a sigh, he continued on. "Especially you, Shizuo. You guys need to rest, unless you want to constantly land yourself here and stay, for a _very_ long time."

The raven scoffed, shrugging as he held his hands up carelessly. "Who would want to be here? Everyone knows just how much you've wanted to have alone time with Celty-kun here—tch," he seethed as he received a jab to the abdomen from the Headless Rider herself, who seemed pleased with shutting the man up. Eyes narrowed once more, he refused to show the death faerie he was hurt by comforting the wound with his touch. " _Anyway_ , Shizu-chan was just being rude to _me_ by not enlightening me with his answer to my question," he huffed, trying to pin the blame on the blond.

Said bodyguard only sat there, sulking miserably as he found an interest in the covers, refusing to look elsewhere. When Shinra tried to put a comforting hand on his shoulder, the blond instantly shot forward to grab it, eyes narrowed dangerously into slits of anger. Even Izaya had to widen his eyes at the display. Shinra was only wincing in pain, biting his lips to suppress a yelp of pain. Before Celty could rush over to help her beloved though, Shizuo instantly realized what he was doing and let go of his grip, pulling away as if Shinra's touch burned him. Now his head lowered; pain, guilt, depression, wrath, and deep loathing completely vivid through his amber eyes. Like the child he felt he was, he curled up into a ball, head resting on his knees as he wrapped his arms around his long legs tightly, trying to remind himself that he is still of this world and that he can still feel, trying to keep himself from lashing out again, trying to keep himself whole and _sane_.

_How great that's working out for you, stupid monster._

* * *


	5. Chapter 5

**Recap:**

_Said bodyguard only sat there, sulking miserably as he found an interest in the covers, refusing to look elsewhere. When Shinra tried to put a comforting hand on his shoulder, the blond instantly shot forward to grab it, eyes narrowed dangerously into slits of anger. Even Izaya had to widen his eyes at the display. Shinra was only wincing in pain, biting his lips to suppress a yelp of pain. Before Celty could rush over to help her beloved though, Shizuo instantly realized what he was doing and let go of his grip, pulling away as if Shinra's touch burned him. Now his head lowered; pain, guilt, depression, wrath, and deep loathing completely vivid through his amber eyes. Like the child he felt he was, he curled up into a ball, head resting on his knees as he wrapped his arms around his long legs tightly, trying to remind himself that he is still of this world and that he can still feel, trying to keep himself from lashing out again, trying to keep himself whole and_ sane.

How great that's working out for you, stupid monster.

* * *

Confusion swept through Izaya's entire being. A feeling that he was not familiar with, and a feeling that he did not like, in _any_ circumstances whatsoever. The feeling was all too foreign for him, and he preferred it to stay that way, to have to experience it as little as possible. Until it faded away to nothingness. But how could he do that when Shizuo was a constant in his life? It was impossible, almost like asking said blond to lift up a grain of rice and break out a sweat from its weight.

Izaya was always in control, always knowing what to do in whatever situation arose, always at least five steps ahead of his enemies, and always having everything and everyone wrapped around his finger. Always.

Shizuo, the barbaric Neanderthal, went completely against _everything_ he did and _everything_ he learned through pure observation over the years. It unnerves him. It isn't natural. He should be in the palm of the raven's hand, just like everyone else. It was complete blasphemy for someone to escape his grasp of control. So why wasn't he?

Because, unlike everyone else, he is a monster. Everything about him is horribly wrong, horribly unnatural, horribly…inhumane. The most distinctive trait was, of course, his monstrous strength, followed by his temper. Hell, Izaya was beginning to think the man didn't _have_ a temper at all. He was practically always that angry and out to kill. At least, that's the side that Izaya had always been encountering, never seeing another aspect of him. But another characteristic that was not even close to humanity was the fact that the informant could never get him under his control. Never. Unless it was somehow manipulating his anger, which was always easy to do. But other than that, he was completely unpredictable and illogical. Sometimes, even his anger was capricious. Nothing about him was stable.

As if that wasn't enough to set him off, it was the fact that he was inhumane, something that only _Izaya_ was allowed to be. _He_ was the one who was always beyond humans, above them, standing and watching over them. _He_ was the one with the supernatural powers of somehow able to bend everyone to his will. _He_ was the only one. Until _that thing_ showed up and ruined everything. Before meeting him, Izaya felt like he was on top of the world, the king. He was so powerful that he wasn't even considered to be human. He was a god. But when the bane of his existence showed up, he was no longer the only one who was powerful. In fact, most even considered that Shizuo was more powerful than him. It was disgusting, disturbing, and most of all, unsettling. He always felt safe because of the fact that he was on top and no one could pull him down, even if they tried. No one would have been able to overthrow him from his throne. But when the monster entered the scene, he was no longer sure. Having another unnatural being…he almost made Izaya feel human again, since there was at least one person who was on par with him. And being human was something he did not like; even though he loved his precious humans, it wasn't as if he wanted to _be_ one.

Which was why he decided to get rid of Shizuo, so that he wouldn't feel as vulnerable.

But every single time he tried, Shizuo would always exceed his low expectations he set in regards of him. He would always surpass any test he gave him, any person or groups of people he sent after him. He was unstoppable. An invincible monster. Thus, spawned the nickname of the Fortissimos of Ikebukuro. No matter what he tried, Shizuo was always unpredictable and invincible.

And that's what always confused Izaya.

Just like Shizuo's current condition.

First and foremost, he hadn't even sensed Izaya's presence in Ikebukuro, which he always somehow managed to do. And then, after he _did_ find out after the informant was right in front of him, he did nothing. Zip. Zilch.

He. Just. Stood there.

 _Shouldn't he be yelling in anger and try to kill me or at the very least throw an innocent passing car at me?_ Apparently, the answer was no, because Shizuo just stood there some more, as if seeing Izaya was a normal thing—which it was, but it was also very normal of the blond to try and murder him. But he didn't say anything, nor had he moved. It was daunting. And to make the whole experience even more distressing, the words he spoke to Izaya was extremely calm and straight to the point with no threats whatsoever.

_Why?_

He couldn't have some idiotic abrupt motive to just be friends. It wasn't like him; but then again, what did Izaya know about the monster? But still, an uncalled for truce would be beyond the two of them. And if it was a truce, shouldn't Shizuo come to Izaya to straighten that out anyway? So why the sudden change? He figured that the fickle ex-bartender still had his diabolical strength when he _did_ try to kill him. But even that was a mystery, because before he had gotten the chance to finish what he wanted, he stopped. He stopped strangling Izaya against the wall. It wasn't as if they got interrupted, which in their controversies usually did end up happening. So he had no reason to stop if he really wanted Izaya dead as he always contemptuously claimed to. Unless…

He _didn't_ want the flea dead?

"Gahh! Why are you so frustrating?" the 'flea' exclaimed, rustling his smooth black hair with both of his hands in utmost frustration.

"What're you on about now?" His secretary stole a glance of him out of the corner of her eyes as she drank her coffee.

Trying to regain whatever calmness he still maintained, he relaxed back into the black leather chair of his, resting his arms on the armrests attached to the chair and closing his eyes, an expression that showed he was in deep thinking etched on his face. After a minute or so of pondering, a sigh escaped his lips and he straightened into a position where he leaned over his desk, hands propped onto the surface table and folded so that he could lean into it. His eyes were filled with something Namie knew all too well from herself: frustration. She soon lost herself in those mysterious eyes of his that never seemed to betray him or his feelings in any situation. Until now. And it was that distraction that left her unaware of the fact that Izaya was staring straight at her, and that she was doing the same.

Glowering at him, she tried to shake off the realization of Izaya's eyes on her, mentally bracing herself for whatever snide remark would be coming out of the informant this time. However, it never came, she noticed, as she took a wary sip of coffee. This was a bit too awkward and unlike Izaya for Namie's tastes. It made her feel as if he had something even more deviously planned than usual.

"Izaya, answer my question." It wasn't as if she really did desire an answer, but maybe that would get him to stop acting so weird, right?

Wrong.

To her mild surprise, the infamous informant actually acknowledged her question. "Oh Namie, and here I thought that you wanted nothing more to with me, much less want to talk to me and get to know me better."

The suggestive smirk did not help reassure Namie's hope of that statement not purposefully worded to sound as lewd as she thought it did.

"Tch, forget it." And to think that even for a sliver of a second, she was actually worrying about him.

The raven waltzed over to where his secretary was working diligently before slinging his arms over her neck and leaning forward so that his face was right next to hers. The woman tried her hardest to ignore him, her efforts on trying to concentrate on the files she had to sort through.

"Aww, c'mon Namie…you're no funnn…" he whined, practically pouting as childishly as he sounded.

"Izaya…" the brunette growled threateningly, about to smack him with the paper she held in hand.

It was then that she felt the body against her back stiffen, frozen in place. She shivered from the arms that still wrapped themselves around her neck; they were somehow…colder. She craned her neck so that she could see him with the difficult position he held her in.

"What?" Her tone was icy, but if one listened carefully or knew Namie as well as Izaya did, then they would find a thin layering of concern hidden in it.

However, it seemed that Izaya wouldn't be noticing Namie any time soon, or anything else for that matter. His slightly widened eyes and attention were solely on whatever content was on the paper in her hand. Straightening the file and placing it on her desk, realization flickered in her chocolate eyes briefly. The unmistakable bleached blond hair was already eye-catching, but if that wasn't enough to jog up anyone's memory, then the trademark indigo shades perched on the man's nose would be.

Shizuo Heiwajima.

His file was carefully examined by Namie after she had seen the encounters with the man and her boss since their not-so-subtle feuds. Normally, she wouldn't care for people who dealt with Izaya, but Shizuo reached the pinnacle of her interest and curiosity, what with that inhumane strength of his and his clear loathing for the informant. Though, whenever she inquired about the blond, Izaya would always direct the subject elsewhere or refuse to acknowledge her. Or give his most favorite answer: "Only _I_ have the right to know Shizu-chan's information. No one else needs to know about him."

Which only added to her curiosity.

Izaya, however, was unamused. "Where did you get that?" His tone was different, Namie noted. Darker, more troubled. Her breath hitched in her throat, fear slowly constricting her lungs.

Managing not to stutter, she replied smoothly. "From your file cabinet."

"Why?"

"Why are _you_ so hellbent on keeping his information confidential?"

The pressure against her shoulders decreased, feeling the heavier man's weight barely leaning against her for support. A sigh could be heard through the strange silence throughout the room.

"How many times do I have to tell you, Namie-san? Shizu-chan's information is con-fi-den-tial." He poked the doctor's forehead with his index finger in rhythm to each syllable he enunciated for the last word. Which did not sit well with her.

She slapped the informant's hand away from her, frowning deeply at his excuse of an answer. "Specifics." After a pause and some deep thinking, she pursed her lips, which then grew into a smirk as realization dawned on her.

"You're hiding something…"

"I hide a lot of things." Izaya shrugged his shoulders easily as he straightened into a standing position, no longer leaning on the woman. His eyes were closed and a smile graced his lips, giving him the impression of a laid-back person. "You, as my secretary, should know that."

"Perhaps," Namie continued with her musing as if she had never gotten interrupted, "you want Shizuo all to yourself."

Izaya made his way to his black swivel chair when Namie proposed that _sickening_ proposition. It tugged at his gag-reflex, though he forced down any urge to retch on the spot, and settled for leaning his cheek against his palm being supported by his elbow on the desk, a smirk plastered on his face.

"Monthly salary for Yagiri, Namie, deducted by 58.9%. Reason: Yagiri-san is much too inane, and lethargic at her work, spending much of her precious time questioning her boss with moronic inquiries. Mandatory trip to the mental asylum is in question along with her sanity."

A thwack could be heard all across the world as a book mysteriously landed on the floor, landing just next a certain broker's foot.

"65%."

. | Ω | .

People who knew of the notorious information broker swiftly avoided him, which was practically everyone. He stood at the corner of the bustling street, seemingly looking for something, or rather, some _one._ The civilians were used to his dealings and antics, so much that they grew to be accustomed to it to pay no mind to it, unless they were involved, of course. But as it looked of right now, no one was proposing a business deal with him, or even paying the slightest attention towards him.

Until a tall man hiding behind a trench coat arrived, his eyes shielded from a pair of black sunglasses and his head from a matching hat. He seemed to be wanting to keep a low profile, but it ended up doing the opposite, Izaya noted, as he caught a few people stealing suspicious glances at the man.

"Ah, just on time." A smirk was ever present on the informant's face.

The man stopped just a few paces away from him, head hung low with his hands in his pockets. Keeping his distance, he cautiously approached the raven, nodding in a greeting.

"Mr. Orihara," the voice was rough, accent thick in what Izaya could pinpoint as European. "I assume you have all of the information I requested?"

"Ah, of course." His eyes narrowed just a fraction. "But I expect payment first—" His sentence was hastily cut off as he caught sight of a familiar blond walking among the crowds. He tried to suppress all the questions that arose to his mind he wanted to ask, trying to mask his eagerness to chase him as he did not want to come off as rude or distracted to his client. It would mean bad business.

Luckily, the man in front of him didn't seem to notice. "Mr. Orihara, I expect my information first, if you don't mind. You see, there was this incident that has unfortunately happened to me before, where the informant has snuck away with the money before—…are you alright, Mr. Informant?" He raised an eyebrow at Izaya's eyes, which seemed to drift from him, twice while he was speaking.

"Naturally, why wouldn't I be?" The informant gave him one of his charming smiles, encouraging for their negotiating to continue.

If he could see his client's eyes behind those sunglasses, Izaya knew that it would be a wary one. But the man continued on, though his voice with just a slight edge. "As I was saying…an informant of mine has swindled me once. I intend not to have it happen again. So if you would please…"

By now, the raven cut off his attention from what his company was saying. It was all the same things he had been told over the phone when the person wanted to buy information from him. He was just regurgitating it again, something not worth his attention, especially when there was something else that piqued his interest at the moment. As the man went on about the information he wanted and the reward Izaya would get for providing him with such vital knowledge, he noticed that the raven's gaze was traveling off more frequently, it was obvious that his attention was somewhere else. "Are you sure you're alright, Mr. Orihara I—"

Before he could finish saying his name, someone finished it for him. "Iizaaayaaa…what're you doing here? I thought I told you to stay away from Ikebukuro, didn't I?"

Izaya's eyes landed on the blond, not breaking eye contact even after Shizuo approached him, coming closer with each step.

"My, my, Shizu-chan, how nice it is to see you."

His attention was solely on the blond in front of him, momentarily forgetting about his whole purpose of even being here. His hands fitted into his pockets, no doubt reaching for his flick blade. Feeling the weapon securely in his grasp, he felt more reassured now that he would have something to defend himself with. But to his surprise, Shizuo didn't seem angry, just distressed. He hadn't even ripped off an innocent sign post from its spot in the ground yet.

Yet.

Still cautious, he scrutinized his enemy's every move, from the slight twitch of his eyebrow, to the growl that resonated from his throat, looking for any sign of him snapping and attacking Izaya.

"What impeccable timing you have, too. I was just wanting to ask you some questions. Why don't we settle down and have a nice…" he tilted his head slightly, trying to make himself seem more innocent, "talk?"

"Talk?" Shizuo parroted. "Why would I want to have a _talk_ with you? There's nothing we can talk about."

Izaya shook his head at the blond, sighing at his response. "Shizu-chan, there's a lot of matters that we can talk about. Such as…what a monster you are."

Said monster hung his head low, as if ashamed at the fact. As if the sunglasses didn't cover Shizuo's eyes enough, his bangs surely completely the job now. His very being seemed to shake with…anger? But this time, there was something different about him. There was an air of disappointment. Though Izaya didn't know what he would feel disappointed at, or even why.

"Izaya…" he warned, breaking the raven's curious gaze and making him look at his face instead.

"Yes, Shizu-chan~?" he innocently asked, enjoying the scowl being directed at him.

"My name is Shizuo Heiwajima, not that detestable thing." He didn't even want to acknowledge it as a name.

"So Shizu-chan," Izaya's lips curled in a more teasing smile, ignoring what the blond told him just seconds ago, "are you willing to talk? I'm getting impatient to hear your answer."

Shizuo knew just as well as Izaya that he'd force him to get what he wanted, even if the ex-bartender declined. But that didn't mean that Shizuo would just easily give in to him.

"I said that there was nothing for us to talk about. Does everything I say slip your mind or some shit?"

The scowl marred his expression, swearing that everything he said to the informant did in fact do just that, and he just _had_ to reiterate every single thing that came out of his mouth to him, didn't he? If that bone-chilling expression Shizuo wore hadn't scared Izaya's client away, who knows what will. He was already quietly sneaking away once he got over his frozen fear at the mention of the infamous Shizuo Heiwajima.

"You know, I don't like it when I have to repeat myself."

Of course he knew, Izaya knew everything. Everything except the many things that came to Shizuo Heiwajima, though. He was an anomaly, something that was stranger than the strangest. Something Izaya would never be able to figure out, even if it took him an eternity. He was an unknown variable.

"Ehh? Of course not. I care too much about Shizu-chan to do that."

'Shizu-chan' raised his head, eyes narrowed dangerously at the other. "Like Hell you do!"

"Oh, my bad, it slipped my mind. No one can care for a monster, after all. Shizu-chan is the prime example of this fact."

He narrowly avoided the punch aimed for his face, cutting much too close for his taste. However, an unsuspecting civilian that just so happened to walk a few feet behind Izaya did not have luck on his side. As Shizuo lunged forward, he couldn't stop himself, it was too late even if he tried his hardest. As soon as his fist made contact with the person's face, he was sent flying towards a building, car speeding towards him. With a gasp, Shizuo stared wide-eyed, agape at what was about to happen. He tried to scream out to the person— _Like that'd save him,_ Izaya sneered—but his throat felt too dry and no words came out. But the car had slowed down to a screech when the driver saw the hurling person soaring through the air, mystified. Shizuo couldn't release a sigh of relief because even though the car had missed him, he still collided with the building, which now sported a deep human-shaped engraving.

But it didn't stop there, oh no. Whatever deity up there wanted to screw Shizuo over as much as possible.

Loud honking was the only thing anyone within a ten mile radius could hear. Some of the cars collided each other at the abrupt stop the car had made, creating a field of confusion. Some of the drivers had even been sticking their heads out of the windows, shouting obscenities at each other. Even the pedestrians were dumbfounded and somehow got caught in the chaos. Shizuo sank to his knees, his eyes as wide as dinner plates and mouth hanging open in utter shock. It was pathetic really, Izaya mused, that the strongest monster caused destruction everywhere he went—even if most incidents were with the raven's help—and felt _guilty_ about it afterwards.

Izaya walked up to Shizuo, patting his back, even though he despised touching the frozen blond. "Nice job, Shizu-chan. Look at what a show you created!" Smiling as he witnessed the scene, he thought that the monster would stay frozen until the whole thing blew over.

How wrong he was.

Once again, Shizuo's fingers wrapped themselves against his still bruised neck, and like last time, they showed no sign of ever letting go. He was held high up in the air as Shizuo dangled him, standing at his full height. The usual scowling expression scarred his face, his brown eyes glinting with something. Hate. Pure, raw hate. Izaya winced at the amount of pressure being applied to his neck, even letting out a strangled cough.

"You… You…" His eyes narrowed. "You did this…" His strength intensified. "This whole thing is _your_ fault. _You_ caused this."

Before his neck could snap, Izaya fell on the ground, landing flat on his bottom. With a grimace and a glare, he looked up as he was about to hiss at the blond. But before the words left his mouth, he sat there, staring at the blond through narrowed eyes, who, in turn, looked just as shocked as he did at the display of utter mayhem he caused. His stare pierced Izaya, then he looked at his hands, and the raven detected something in the chocolate orbs, slightly surprised at what he found in them.

Disgust.

With himself.

Before the broker could press questions, the main target of his curiosity at the moment ran. He ran from the scene, disappearing from his line of vision in just 3.8591 seconds, Izaya calculated. Slowly getting up, his hands dusted off the dirt and other disgusting germs and substances that once stained his clothes. Once he was done, something shined in his own eyes: pure curiosity.

 _So…Shizu-chan is disgusted at himself every single time he hurts someone other than me, hm?_ He let out a laugh, even though it was bitter and empty of mirth. _You really are a monster._


End file.
